Finding Myself

I cannot believe that I am still dealing with this, I told myself a long time that I need to change. 

I have some pretty bad habits that harm my ability to grow or move forward. I know many people struggle trying to get on the right track and stay on it, so I don't feel alone. I'm the type of person who takes rejection and criticism well...at least from others. I have normalized putting pressure on myself and analyzing my faults. This is a big no-no if I REALLY want to grow in life.

I am at a weird place in life where I feel like I don't know if I making progress and if it's even worth it.

I'm navigating my twenties with too much safety and so are a lot of people I know. I also know the benefit of taking risks and possibly starting over if need be. However, it's not as easy when I can't seem to take the constant pressure off of myself.

I just need to say what's on my mind, do what is on my heart and stop playing. I'm meant to create, but are my creations meant to be consumed? I love to write but the thought of putting myself out there is something that fuels my anxiety because to be honest

I don't always believe in myself. 

Self doubt and lack of confidence in my craft has pushed me to be scared, always scared of sharing who I really am. My writings are not always happy, motivating or digestible for others.

"Look at that...I don't have to be any of those things."

Doing things because I want to and not giving a fuck what anyone says when it comes to me and what makes me happy. Doing things because it challenges me to be a better person. I guess feeling lost is a realization that I needed to find myself again, doing what makes me happy so that I can lead into a fulfilling life.